


Everything and Nothing

by orphan_account



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Assassin's Creed: Syndicate Spoilers, Bisexual Jacob Frye, Blow Jobs, F/M, Gay Bar, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Smut, Underworld Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:55:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6152887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was Jacob's life like after Evie and Henry left for India? What were his wife and children like? How's this kid going to restart the London Brotherhood? What went wrong with Jack?</p>
<p>Or, "Ubisoft didn't tell us anything about Jacob or Evie's families so I had to headcanon this stuff on my own and it got so large and dramatic that I wrote a multi-chapter fic about it."</p>
<p>(There might eventually be some triggery shit or discussion of triggery shit in later chapters so stay safe & check the tags and warnings friends)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Woke Up New

**Author's Note:**

> Or, "Evie's been gone for like 3 days and Jacob's already accidentally bought a Victorian gay bar."

** November 1, 1868 **

Retaking Kenway mansion was a great idea: it’s the perfect place to celebrate a wedding. To think they’d just wrestled it back from the Templars about a month earlier. To think their father had died, they’d moved to London, started a gang, killed Starrick’s associates, killed Starrick himself, met the Queen, been knighted, and taken over London in less than a year.

To think that Henry had just proposed to Evie a few months ago, and now they were getting married and going off to India.

Jacob didn’t completely understand why they’d want to go. Sure, Henry was finally going to be allowed back home, but why would he want to go back if they were going to excommunicate him in the first place? And most importantly, why would they want to leave Jacob alone in charge of London? He couldn’t handle London alone, and he knew that they knew that, too. To be fair, a few of the Crawley Assassins would move to London at some point, although there was still going to be a presence in Crawley in case- God forbid- something happened. It was a bit of a sore spot, as well, considering that Jacob and Evie probably would have been cut off for disobeying George Westhouse and the council for running off to London, and that the Assassins would have missed out on everything if they obeyed. It would take a while for the Crawley council to figure out what they were going to do with London, and what they were going to do with Jacob.

Everything was moving so quickly, and Jacob didn’t know if even he, as fast-paced as he could be, could keep up. One minute, Henry and Evie are kissing at the altar, the next, Jacob’s giving a speech about the two, the next, everyone’s leaving for the night, and Jacob’s alone. 

And then, after a sleepless night, Jacob says his goodbyes to Evie and Henry as they leave to go to a completely different continent. 

The worst part is that, later, Jacob can’t even remember what was said. He knows they hugged and he wished them luck and waved them off but he can’t for the life of him think of what words were spoken, and that makes it more painful.

And now he needs to rebuild the London brotherhood on his own, or at least until Crawley gets its shit together and sends some people up. And he needs to figure out what he’s doing with the mansion, and the train, and Henry’s shop… Why couldn’t they stay a bit longer, help him sort everything out?

Then again, Jacob figured he could use some time alone. He knew he had a lot to figure out with himself. His whole life he’d lived with Evie, compared himself to her or had himself compared to her by their father. And the whole fiasco with Roth made him wonder how far he would go for the approval of someone who would compliment him, someone who would tell him he’s brave, someone to call him “darling” or “my dear.” 

He had so much to do, so much to think about…

That could wait. All of this could wait. He needed a drink first. He needed a break, some time to settle into his new life alone.

 

A few days later, Jacob invested money a pub. Had his sister been in town, she would have made sure that he’d done his research on it first before just throwing money at the next pub he saw. Maybe actually go to the place and check it out. But Evie was off in India, and Jacob was an impulsive idiot. It’s a pub! Why would that possibly be an issue? 

Jacob didn’t see anything strange or different about The Nuttery. At the bar was Ned, who smiled upon seeing Jacob enter.

“I hear you’ve invested in this fine establishment, Frye. Interesting.”

“Good evening to you too,” Jacob said, taking a seat next to Ned.

“I mean, I always had my suspicions you were a ‘confirmed bachelor,’ or at least that you’d be a bit more open-minded than most men, but to buy this place? Certainly not what I’d expect.”

Jacob furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Ned, what are you implying?”

“Do you not know what kind of pub you put your money into, Jacob?” Ned laughed. 

The bartender, a tall and handsome thirty-year-old man with black hair and muscular arms, came around to the two. “Anything I can get you?” he asked in an American accent.

“An explanation would be a good start, what’s my friend here going on about?” Jacob asked.

“You’re the new investor? Frye?” 

“Yes…”

“Son, this is a molly house. Men come here to meet other men with… similar interests.”

Jacob put his face in his hands as his elbows rested against the bar.

“Jacob, you mean to tell me you didn’t know when you invested in this place?” his friend asked, laughing just a bit.

“I may have at some point, or I may have forgotten…” Jacob said, rubbing his temples. 

Or maybe, on some level, he wanted to go to one of these establishments and this provided the perfect excuse- I’ve never committed buggery, I’m just an idiot!- but he honestly was surprised to learn that this, the pub he put his own money into, was one of the pubs he’d been so curious about. 

“The owner must have known about your criminal status and affiliation with me to trust you not to have the place shut down,” Ned explained.

"Yes, but it would have been nice to have been warned."

“Is there anything else I can get you?” the bartender asked. 

“I’ll have a pint of… whatever,” Jacob requested, “and what’s your name?”

“Daniel, Daniel Herman,” he answered, before going off to fill the order.

Ned spoke up: “Daniel’s also from New York, he came here as a member of a ship’s crew, decided to live here for a bit.”

Jacob didn’t want to talk about the man though, at least not right now. He was a bit confused, and nervous.

“So, Ned, what are you doing here? Do you… fancy men?”

Ned took a sip of his drink. “I mostly come here because the people tend to be more… accepting. I tell them my name is Ned, they believe me. They don’t mind. That being said, I’d be open to the idea of a male suitor. Now what exactly are you doing here?”

“I invested in this place without doing research, you know that,” he said, a bit defensively.

“Then why haven’t you left yet? Not that I’m saying you feel one way or another, for all I know you’re just a very accepting and open-minded person, trying to keep these people safe from laws that’ll throw them in jail. To be fair, you’ve never questioned me.”

At this point, Daniel came back around with Jacob’s beer, which he downed pretty quickly.

“Do you want another, sir?” Daniel asked.

Jacob nodded his head, and Daniel got him another. 

“So what do you think of the place?” Daniel asked.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t expect it to be what it is,” Jacob noted.

“This isn’t one of the more flamboyant molly houses, it’s more a place where like-minded men can meet in an area free of judgement.” Daniel noted, looking into Jacob’s eyes, “but in the rooms upstairs, people are free to do as they wish.”

Jacob couldn’t tell if Daniel was flirting with him. Jacob couldn’t tell if he wanted him to.

 

After another couple of drinks, and after evading a couple of Ned’s questions about his sexuality, Jacob left the pub. On his way home, he saw one of his rooks, a young woman, on the ground with a large gash on her face, crying and swearing. Jacob ran up to her.

“Are you all right? What’s happened?” he asked, trying to examine the wound as well as he could, although she was trying to cover it with her hands.

“Mr. Frye? A some tosser to rob me, and when I fought back he gave me this wound, and now I’m not going to be able to work…” The poor girl was anxious, yet pissed off.

“What do you mean, you won’t be able to work?” Jacob asked, concerned.

“My face… it’s a bit important when you’re a prostitute,” She said, a hint of angry sarcasm in her voice.

“Why are you wearing a rook’s uniform?”

“I can’t just live on the money I get from this! And with an ugly gash on my face?”

This bothered Jacob, that his rooks were still finding it hard to get by.

“Come with me, I’ll patch you up,” he said, leading her to his train nearby. “And what was your name?”

“Louise,” she answered, walking with him.

On the train, she told him more: she was 24 years old, she’d been a prostitute for a few years now because that was all she could do, growing up poor and not getting an education. She had seen how hard factory work was, and how abused the workers were, and didn’t want that- although now it’s probably the only thing she can do for work. She didn’t seem as sad or anxious anymore, just pissed off. 

“So why join the Rooks?” Jacob asked.

“The Blighters were causing trouble for me and other women I worked with, harassing us and all. And I knew they were using children to do factory work, which wasn’t right. I grew up on the streets, so I know how to fight. I was hoping the Rooks could give me some other opportunities when it comes to money.”

“Well, you can fight…” As Jacob cleaned the gash on her face, he explained the Creed and asked if she’d be interested. “I can give you lodgings, you’d make money, and it doesn’t matter what you look like. You’d just need be fine with taking out certain people.”

“I could do that,” Louise answered, “if they deserve it.”

“Fantastic. I’d have to train you, I’m not quite sure how to go about that. Can you meet me at this address on the 12th at noon?” Jacob wrote down the address for Kenway mansion and handed the paper to her.

“I could do that,” she said.

Jacob was finally starting to figure things out. He finally had a recruit, and knew he could get more. This could all work out. He could make this work out.


	2. Song of Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like some Walt Whitman to get into a sexy mood, am I right folks?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Descriptions of a panic attack and sexual stuff in this chapter  
> Wow i can't believe i'm posting this it's my first smutty thing i've done this is wild

** November 9 **

It was Jacob- and Evie’s- 21st birthday. His first birthday without her. It felt… odd. He missed her. More importantly, he missed taking the piss out of her. 

He went back to the Nuttery and saw Daniel working at the bar again.

“You’re back,” he said, surprised that Jacob was there.

“It’s my birthday, figured I’d get a drink to celebrate.” Jacob answered.

“Happy birthday. What’ll you have to drink?”

“A pint is fine.”

“You can do better than that,” Daniel teased.

“Fine, a pint of gin then,” Jacob joked.

Daniel laughed as he fetched him some gin. 

“So… what are you doing back here?” Daniel asked, wiping down the bar.

“I figure that I have a share in the place, why not just drink here?” Jacob answered.

“Probably because most men wouldn’t want to be associated with a place like this. You seem awfully comfortable with this pub’s purpose.”

Jacob knew what Daniel was getting at. “I’m open-minded,” he said, feeling anxious and vulnerable all of a sudden.

“How open-minded? You ever been with a man before?”

Jacob hesitated for a second, before strongly saying “no,” throwing back the rest of his drink. “Considering you work here, I’m guessing you have?”

“Ah, you’re as observant as you are strong, from what I hear,” Daniel answered. 

Jacob smiled a little like a schoolgirl. God, he loved being complimented. “And what have you heard?” Jacob asked.

“Well, you created the rooks. Took out those Blighters.” 

“That I did,” Jacob said, proudly.

“Good job with that. Those blokes were ruining this city.”

“Blokes? Sounds like you’re turning into an Englishman.”

Daniel laughed. “Sounds like I am. Fancy another gin?”

“I would,” Jacob asked, since he’d already downed his first one.

Daniel poured, and as he handed the drink to him, their fingers touched. 

“What time do you get off?” Jacob asked, looking into Daniel’s blue eyes.

Daniel pulled out a pocket watch and checked the time. “About twenty minutes.”

“Want to join me then?”

 

After a younger British man took over the bar, Daniel joined Jacob. The two hit it off, Daniel talking about growing up in America and how he’d miss it occasionally, Jacob trying to evade questions about his upbringing. There was a question Jacob was itching to ask, and after his third gin he finally found the courage to ask it.

“When did you know you were attracted to men?”

Daniel smiled nervously for a moment, and took another sip of his own pint. “I was probably about fifteen. There was this other boy in my neighborhood, son of a politician. Nothing happened, obviously, but the ways I’d read about men pining after women was how I’d pine afar him. I struggled with it for a while. When I was 19 I read this book, a book of poems, called _Leaves of Grass_ , written by Walt Whitman. He was from New York as well. Something in it spoke to me, the poems can get a bit… homoerotic. It helped me realize I fancy men.”

“Well,” Jacob started, “now I’m curious. I’d like to hear some of these poems.”

Daniel smiled, and looked into Jacob’s eyes. “I do have a copy in my room upstairs if you’d like to join me.”

Jacob tossed back the rest of his drink. “Sounds lovely.”

 

Daniel’s room was neat and orderly. The walls were scantly decorated, and the curtains were blue, matching the blanket on the queen-sized bed. As soon as they entered, Daniel went right to his bedside table and picked up the book. He then sat down at the foot of the bed, and pat the space next to him, offering it up to Jacob.

“Come, sit. And feel free to take off your jacket and hat.”

Jacob took his jacket off, but kept his top hat on. He sat down next to Daniel, albeit quite nervously.

“All right, this is ‘Song of Myself,’ or the beginning anyway, it’s quite long.”

He cleared his throat and began to read:

> I CELEBRATE myself, and sing myself,
> 
> And what I assume you shall assume,
> 
> For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
> 
>  
> 
> I loafe and invite my soul,
> 
> I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.
> 
>  
> 
> My tongue, every atom of my blood, form'd from this soil,
> 
> this air,
> 
> Born here of parents born here from parents the same, and
> 
> their parents the same,
> 
> I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin,
> 
> Hoping to cease not till death.

“-I’m sorry,” Jacob interrupted, “But you said this was a poem?”

“Yes.”

“Why doesn’t it rhyme?” Jacob hadn’t had an illustrious background in literature.

“Poems don’t need to rhyme.”

“Ah. It is beautiful, nonetheless.” 

“Shall I continue?” Daniel asked.

“You shall.”

> Creeds and schools in abeyance,
> 
> Retiring back a while sufficed at what they are, but never
> 
> forgotten,
> 
> I harbor for good or bad, I permit to speak at every hazard,
> 
> Nature without check with original energy.

The word “creeds” caught Jacob’s attention, reminding him of his own creed. He didn’t understand this poem, but he enjoyed it. He enjoyed hearing Daniel read it.

> Houses and rooms are full of perfumes, the shelves are
> 
> crowded with perfumes,
> 
> I breathe the fragrance myself and know it and like it,
> 
> The distillation would intoxicate me also, but I shall not let it.

 

Oh God, Jacob thought, I’m attracted to this man. He’s reading this poem and his voice is so beautiful and his face is so gentle and his arms are so strong-

 

> The atmosphere is not a perfume, it has no taste of the
> 
> distillation, it is odorless,
> 
> It is for my mouth forever, I am in love with it,
> 
> I will go to the bank by-

Jacob grabbed Daniel and kissed him deeply and passionately before letting go.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-“

Daniel then did the same, as if to mirror Jacob. The two stared deeply into each others’ eyes for a moment, before continuing.

Jacob’s thoughts were racing. _Oh God, I’m actually doing this, what will my father think? Wait, no, he’s dead, Jacob, you don’t need to worry about him. Or Evie, for that matter. You’re all alone-_

These thoughts only made Jacob kiss Daniel more passionately before abruptly stopping. 

“I’ve never done this before. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing wonderfully,” Daniel reassured Jacob, and they went back to kissing for a few minutes. Eventually, they lied down on the bed, and Jacob threw his top hat off of himself, feeling his cock grow hard. 

_ Oh my God what am I doing why am I doing this this feels so good so right but I just- _

Jacob sat up and took his vest off. Daniel took his shirt off. Jacob followed suit, but had some trouble.

“Let me help you with that,” Daniel said, assisting with pulling Jacob’s shirt off, revealing his tattoos. Daniel ran his fingers over them before kissing him again, and moving his hands to Jacob’s trousers.

“Shall I?” Daniel asked.

“Yes,” Jacob responded, longingly, helping him.

Jacob had to be naked for a moment before he realized that he was. Daniel similarly followed suit and took off his trousers, and the two were both naked. Jacob lied down, as Daniel kissed him.

_ Oh my God this is actually happening Jacob you idiot what are you- _

Daniel kissed Jacob on his lips, then his chin, then down his chest until suddenly he was nearing Jacob’s erection. Upon getting closer to it, Daniel asked Jacob, “are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“Yes, please,” Jacob begged. 

Daniel took Jacob’s cock in his mouth. It wasn’t there first time it had been in a mouth, but the first time it had been in a man’s. Jacob tried to ignore that fact and his judgements about it, focusing instead on how incredibly good this felt. He moaned and ran his fingers through Daniel’s black and curly hair. 

This felt so good. He hadn’t had a real sexual release in so long. 

“Don’t stop,” Jacob moaned as he clutched the blue blanket beneath him. Daniel started playing with Jacob’s balls, escalating the sensations.

After a few minutes, it grew to be too much.

“I- I think I’m going to come,” he announced, and a couple of seconds later he did. Daniel never took his mouth off Jacob’s cock through the whole thing, and seemed to take his whole load.

“You swallowed it all?” Jacob asked Daniel. 

“I did. Mind if I kiss you?”

“By all means, go ahead.”

Daniel kissed Jacob and he tasted himself. He felt a tad overwhelmed. Daniel must have caught on to this.

“You don’t need to reciprocate, not today, i know you’ve never had another man’s cock in your mouth before-“

Jacob kissed him. “I want to. I want to try. Any suggestions?”

“Watch your teeth, use your tongue and cheeks, feel free to take a break by using your hands.” Daniel was so kind, so helpful. Jacob wanted to make him feel good.

After kissing Daniel on the mouth, he went down to his cock. Stroking it a bit with his hand first, he guided it into his mouth. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He bobbed his head up and down, but couldn’t get it in as far as Daniel could. Jacob used his hand on the base. He used his tongue just as Daniel suggested. A moan erupted from Daniel’s lips, which made Jacob feel good about himself. 

After a couple of minutes his jaw began to hurt, so he took a quick break, using his hand instead. Daniel didn’t seem to mind. A minute or so was enough, and Jacob went back to using his mouth. 

Eventually, Daniel announced that he was coming. This worried Jacob, who knew he couldn’t swallow it all like Daniel could. He took the cock out of his mouth and used his hands to stimulate the man instead. Daniel came all over Jacob’s hand, and Jacob looked him in the eye.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t-“

“Hey, that was fantastic for your first time,” Daniel reassured before kissing him.

“Are you sure?”

“I had my release, didn’t I?”

Daniel kissed him again, before asking, “how are you feeling?”

“I don’t know.”

He really didn’t know. He was overwhelmed. Daniel’s come was all over his hand. His clothes were on the ground. He was still a little buzzed from the alcohol from earlier. It was his birthday. It was his first birthday without his sister. Evie. What would she think of this? Would she think him some kind of freak? Their father probably would. Their father would be very disappointed. At least his first time happened with someone kind like Daniel. It could have easily happened with someone like Roth. He remembered Roth. He remembered how he started to feel things for a man who was so chaotic he’d hurt children-

Dizzy. So dizzy. Can’t breathe. Is that his heart rate? It’s so fast and strong. Are hearts supposed to be that fast? He felt shaky. He must be dying. God this was a terrible idea. He’s going to be found dead in another man’s bed with another man’s come on his hand in the molly house he invested in because he’s an idiot and he’s dying definitely that’s why he feels this way-

Daniel wrapped his arm around Jacob and told him to breathe, just breathe, but it was so hard. 

“Do you want some water?”

Jacob nodded and just sat there panicking while Daniel brought him a glass of water. Daniel told him to just take sips, but he chugged the whole thing. Daniel helped him get his clothes. Yes, clothes. Not being naked is good.

He started to be able to breathe again, and his heart wasn’t being so loud anymore, but he did still feel a bit shaken. What the hell was that? What just happened?

“Are you all right?” Daniel asked.

“I’m feeling better,” Jacob answered. “I’m sorry, that’s never happened to me before.”

“Don’t apologize, you’re probably just feeling very overwhelmed. I’m sorry if I pushed you.”

“You didn’t,” Jacob responded, gathering his breath. “I actually quite enjoyed this.”

“We can do it again sometime, hopefully with less panicking.”

Jacob was about to apologize again, but remembered that Daniel said not to apologize for it. “I would like to do this again.”

Daniel smiled. “You know where to find me,” he said, before kissing Jacob. "Do you want to stay here for a while? Maybe lie down a bit?"

 

"I would like that if you joined me."

Jacob lied down and Daniel held him. After a few minutes, Jacob succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> The chapter title is from a Mountain Goats song that's probably about romantic love but the refrain of "what do I do without you" reminded me of Jacob's situation a bit. 
> 
> Also, I'm bipolar and I headcanon Jacob as having mild bipolar/cyclothymia so that'll probably come across in some chapters/influence a little of the writing, but considering this was back in the day it won't be mentioned outright. Just thought I'd mention.
> 
> Also I can't believe I'm posting this aaah


End file.
